so I've decided to write a journal in stream of consciousness or whatever it's called i'm not really sure why it's just that sometimes i want to get thing off my mind and writing them or typing them usually helps i'm not going to edit any of this so if the meaning gets lost thats why i don't even know if i'll post this but regardless it's just felt hard lately i seem to be slipping away from everyone i'm not sure why it's a theme of my life i guess not knowing why i do things, i just look at people i care about and notice that i am unable to communicate my ideas with them and then there's this sense of awkwardness that comes about i don't get